Reduced to Shambles
by ToBeRoyal
Summary: Nicole has not spoken a word since her parents' death. Harry Potter is determined to bring her out of her shell. HarryxOC Rated T for language and self-harm.
1. Prologue

Some days I feel like I'm the only person in this world who has seen death, seen someone we've cared for die. But when I look into those emerald eyes, the ones so void of emotion that I know it hurts, I know that I'm not alone.  
And when I see Luna, petting those creepy creatures, I know Harry and I are not alone.  
And when I see wide eyes, wide, tear filled eyes, I know Harry, Luna, and I are not alone.  
Sometimes I wish I was alone, so others did not have to share my pain. So others did not have those dreaded scars, the ones that run deeper than any real scar.  
Sadly, death likes to make its presence known. One by one, people die, as if God thought their life was going too good, and they needed a reality check.  
Still, death is harsh, as well as God. I remember the moment very well, the moment I realized that my parents were no breathing. The short breaths. The angry, red-hot tears. The clenched fists, the white knuckles, the tearing pain.  
Ever since that moment, I have been silent. I have not spoken a single word since my parents death.  
Some say I'm still shocked.  
But those few, the ones who know the pain I do, simply say I am reduced to shambles, broken beyond repair. They are right, of course. The ones who have not yet felt the pain say there is still hope. They are wrong.  
There is no end to my silence.  
There is no hope.  
So why, why bother telling this all to you, loyal reader?  
A certain Gryffindor, one with messy black hair and distinctive green eyes, stupidly believes that he can get the silent Ravenclaw to speak. How wrong he is.  
They speak nothing, so I shall do the same.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Silence greeted me once I woke up. All the other girls in my year had already went down to breakfast. Perfect.

I stood, letting the sheets fall to the ground. I pulled off my sweaty pajamas and discarded them into a hamper filled with dirty clothes. I walked into the bathroom and sat on the floor, naked.

I grabbed the knife hidden in the crack between the floor and the wall. I trailed it across my wrist, smiling when I saw scarlet droplets slide down my wrist, falling onto the carpet. A few more cuts, and I was done for the day. I cleaned out the cuts, showered, and then pulled on a long-sleeved shirt, knowing it would conceal my secret that many people already knew.

I dressed, grabbed my bag, and headed down to breakfast, doing my best to avoid him. I hated him.

Who was I avoiding, you ask? Well, faithful readers, I guess it wouldn't do me any harm if I did. I was avoiding the boy who made my life hell.

Harry Bloody Potter.

He seemed to think he could get me to speak, to smile, to laugh, to feel. They can't feel, so why should I?

His mission to save me from my 'doom' put the sparkle back into his eyes, a sparkle that had been vacant since Cedric's death. Oh well. At least I helped him be happy.

I walked into the Great Hall, praying he didn't notice.

"Hey, Nicole!"

My blue narrowed down to slits. Why wouldn't this boy just leave me alone?

"Nicole Nadine Delaney, don't ignore me!"

How the hell did he know my full name!?

I whipped around, ready to yell at him and smack him before I remembered I had vowed never to speak again.

Maybe that was his plan. To annoy me until I shouted at him to leave me alone. It was a pretty good plan actually. I had to hand it to him, he was pretty smart.

I glared at the smirking Gryffindor seeker, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. I raised an eyebrow as if to say 'What?'

"Sit with me," he pleaded, pouting slightly. He looked kinda cute when he-Stop right there Nicole! You will never fall in love! Especially with him.

I considered my options. Sit with some of the most popular kids in school or at the edge of Ravenclaw table, hoping nobody talks to me?

I continued walking.

"No, you don't!" Harry grabbed my elbow and sat me down next to him. I stared daggers at him, hoping he'd shudder and dismiss me. No such luck.

"Don't give me that face Nicole!" he said, once again giving me a pout. I wanted to smack that pout off his face so badly. Temptation overwhelmed me. I raised my hand slightly before letting it fall back down.

People gave Harry looks like, 'Why is he talking to her?' and 'What the hell is he doing?'

I shook, gripping the table.

"She's not going to talk Harry," Hermione muttered, eyes glued to her book. I contemplated talking just to show Hermione that she didn't know everything. I actually even opened my mouth, but the fire died down and I shut my mouth. The pout returned.

"She was going to talk Hermione!" he whined. "But you made her shy!" Okay, that was it. I made not be able to talk, but I made no vow stating I couldn't smack Harry.

It felt good. Maybe too good. The smack left a red handprint on his cheek. He didn't seem fazed at all. He just grinned at me. I smacked him again. The grin stayed.

"I made progress!" he exclaimed. "You finally got the guts to smack me!"

I raised my hand to smack him for a third time, but I felt Dumbledore's eyes piercing my soul. I shivered and looked away.

I had a feeling Harry pouted as he complained "Nicole! Don't go back into your shell!"

I was so fed up.

I failed classes because I refused to speak.

I had no friends because I vowed not to utter a single word.

My parents were dead.

I had no remaining family who wanted to me.

After school was over, I would be forced to go back to that horrid orphanage.

And here, Harry Potter was, acting like I should forget all of that and just live life.

I cried.

Tears soaked my shirt and I stood up. I ran until I reached the Black Lake.

I fell to my knees and buried my face into my hands.

I wanted to scream. I needed to scream.

I opened my mouth and tried, but I was so used to not speaking that nothing came out. It was as I had feared.

I was mute.

Harry rushed out of the castle, worry evident in those damned green eyes.

"Nicole!" he shouted out. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head no. He stared at my huddled form, and for the first time since I met him, he whispered.

"Listen Nicole," his soft voice soothed. "I know your parents death was hard, but you can't live like this." His voice shook with anger.

"You can't live like this!" he repeated, this time shouting it out for the world to hear. "You can't live in silence! Do you think this is what your parents wanted? For you to fail school? For you to have no friends? For you to never speak again? Your parents died Nicole, and you're sad, I get that. My parents died too! They sacrificed themselves so I could live. And do you see me sitting by myself, mute, trying to forget the world? NO! And you shouldn't either." He quieted.

"They all say your suicidal," he confided. "They make bets on how long you'll last until you break. Cho said you won't last until Christmas. Show them they're wrong, Nicole. Please. For me."

I stood up and turned to face him.

"I'm not suicidal!" I screeched, taking him by surprise. My voice sounded weird. It was hoarse. It wasn't squeaky anymore, like it had been the night of my parents death.

I hadn't spoken for four years.

"I am not suicidal!" I repeated more forcefully. "Yes, I do cut myself, but I know my parents wouldn't want me to die! They would have wanted me to fall in love, to get married, to have children and live, live for them. But I can't. I'm so worried I'll mess things up, and-and I don't have my mum, or my dad to ask for help. I don't have anyone. Every summer I go to an orphanage, when they treat me like I don't have feelings. I KNOW ABOUT THOSE DAMN BETS! I CAN HEAR THE WHISPERS, THE JEERS, AND THE NAME-CALLING!"

I was livid, pissed off.

Harry stared at me. Then, he smiled.

"You spoke," he exclaimed.

"Actually, I yelled," I corrected, but I grinned none the less. "But yes, in a way, I spoke."

We stood there, just beaming at each other. Then, in a bold move, I grabbed Harry's hands and started to dance.

Both of us were horrible dancers, which resulted in me laughing my ass off.

I felt…alive, like I had just woken up from a coma.

I guess, in the end, Harry Potter helped me after all.

But I'm still angry at him.

A/N: Hello! My friend and I are planning to take over the world using

puppies, bunnies, butterflies, and kittens. Review and you will be

spared. Fail to review…I wish you

luck. Oh, and story (this one) will be shorter than originally thought.


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